Dear wives, at least two questions may come to mind when you read this title: What is the "crucified life" and who is a "godly wife"? As we explore this topic, please have your pen and notepad ready to document your thoughts and questions, as we unpack this topic together.
Others like me may have metaphorically likened marriage to the crucifixion. In my early years of marriage, I often described it as being forced to carry a hefty burden, I could barely manage for a greater purpose. As I struggled to carry my marriage to success, I stumbled and fell, oftentimes rising again with pure hope and determination to complete the mission successfully. The mission seemed impossible. There were instances when I felt mocked, tortured, weak, and forsaken. I was unaware that the success of this mission depended heavily on me surrendering myself to be modified by the Holy Spirit. Interestingly, as I matured spiritually and delved into studies, I started seeing relations between the cross and marriage, and suddenly my metaphor became literal.
What Jesus Christ did on the cross for you and me is beyond our limited imagination. We may never fully comprehend but can only appreciate. However, in many ways, Ican see commonalities between marriage and the cross. The cross signifies the death of the flesh so that the spirit can live forever. Jesus personally carried our sins to the cross so that we can be dead to sin, and the Holy Spirit can live within us and cause us to live godly lives. For us who have received the Holy Spirit, we are now one with Him. Paul in Galatians 2:20 (NLT) said, "My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me." Similarly, in marriage, a man and a woman become one. "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one", [Genesis 2:24 (NLT)].
Marriage is more than a legal partnership between a man and a woman. It is the fulfillment of God's plan and purpose for two imperfect people to be partners with Christ, totally dependent on Him and His perfect plan for their lives. Through the Holy Spirit, a husband and wife can form a special unbreakable bond. "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken" [Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT). In the earlier years of my marriage, I attempted to carry out a heavenly assignment using an earthly manual (the flesh) and failed miserably. Today, I know undoubtedly that if God is intertwined in our union, the bond is inseparable. Therefore, both marriage and the cross can be described as death to the flesh, whereby giving way for the Holy Spirit to reign supremely.
In the previous series of "Notes to Wives Newsletter", some of the results derived from my self-willed living were documented: frustration, potential separation, stagnancy, disappointment, etc. "When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these" [Galatians 5:19-21 (NLT)]. Can you identify some of these traits in your marriage? Be not deceived, the reward for these is death. Godly wives, there is life in the Spirit! Jesus Christ died so that we can have life more abundantly. Abundant life means life in its fullest measure. It includes salvation, nourishment, healing, peace, unspeakable joy, and much more. Dearest wives, with Christ, life on earth can reach a much higher quality than we are used to and when this life comes to an end, then in heaven it will be complete and perfect.
Living the crucified life means the death of Jesus is the standard or mold of how we live. We live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loves us and gave Himself for us. We should therefore trust God to carry us in our weakness and work out His purpose in our lives. Living the crucified life means we are not led by our emotions but by the word of God. "Let the Holy Spirit guide our lives, then we won't be doing what the sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil which is the opposite of what the spirit wants" [Galatians 4:16-17 (NLT)]. The standard God has set for us to live by is impossible to achieve without the Holy Spirit living in us. Therefore, we must girt our loins with the truth, adorn ourselves with the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the shield of faith, and our feet fitted with the gospel of peace. This is the only way that we can take a stand against the devil and his myriad of schemes [Ephesians 6:11-18 (NLT)].
The insurmountable trials and challenges that we encounter in our marriages do not necessarily stem from mere irresponsibility from our spouses, but rather from plans devised by the enemy to discreetly gnaw at our vines, slowly causing deterioration of our faith. "For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places", [Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)]. Let us therefore stop seeing the ones we love as the enemy and start praying for spiritual wisdom and insight to detect the real enemy in our lives. In this way, we will be effective in our spiritual warfare.
Finally, godly wives let us be strong in the Lord and through the grace of God be the wives He has designed us to be. God unconditionally gave Himself to die for our sins, so let us unconditionally honour Him by serving well in the covenant of marriage.1 Peter 3:1-5(NLT) encourages us as godly wives, to "accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful".
Beautiful women let's arise and answer the call to live the crucified life. Fully surrendered to God, putting ourselves under His authority and His hand of protection. Then and only then, will we succeed at this "seemingly impossible mission". Hallelujah!!
If you're suffering silently in your marriage, please know that you're not alone. The Sisters of Women Powered by Purpose Praise and Prayer stand with you in prayer for healing. Questions or comments, we'd love to hear from you. Please email us at womenpoweredbyppp@gmail.com
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